In The Cards - Yet Again

Besieged by the regular frustrations and self-doubt, I felt compelled to try another tarot reading. Just what am I doing wrong? This isn't what I had planned! Maybe I should have read the small print? Have a let people down?

I dug out the Vertigo Tarot set again, with its Dave McKean artwork, and gave the cards a shuffle. Aren't you supposed to wait a while between readings? I Googled. I remember that you weren't supposed to have a major reading within six months, but checking Google that all seems to be out the window. Three months seems to be okay, and it's been just over three months. 

Time to shuffle the cards. I love the Vertigo Tarot, though the cards are slightly oversized and shuffling is a little tricky. But you have to work for it don't you? Everything in life is a little bit of a struggle? Okay, I think I'm done. Final cut of the cards, and it's traditional Celtic Cross layout time.

1) - Four of Pentacles (Reversed) - This represents me in my current situation. Last time it said I was coming to a realisation and needed to make a decision. This card, the Four of Pentacles in its reversed position means I'm letting things go. I'm losing my concern over some material things, and letting things go. Of course, there are some things I don't want to let go of, there are still some thing I'm hoping for, but they seem to get further and further away every day. Maybe I'm realising that some of these are just not achievable and I should just resign myself to my fate.

2) - Five of Swords - this crosses the first card, and represents what's holding me back, my immediate obstacles. Before, it was my reluctance to leave the house. Now it just seems that I'm defeated. Depressed, shamed, and silent. The card represents a situation where I feel like I can't speak out, to make myself heard.

3) - Nine of Cups - This is my past, and the basis of my current situation. This card represents my desire for perfection in art. Seems about right. I can get bogged down wanting things to be absolutely perfect. It does slow me down a bit, but I'd rather things were right?

4) - IV: The Emperor (Reversed) - This again is my past, or rather what is recently behind me. The reversed Major Arcana card, The Emperor, signifies discovering who is pulling the strings, and what is undermining my plans. 

5) - VI: The Lovers (Reversed) - This is my present. Before I was full of optimism and belief, and activity. This time it's signifying a need to rebel, there's an opposition going on and I feel like to need to strike back. Ominous!

6) - Three of Wands - this is my future. My previous reading said I was going to be dishonest to myself and fool myself over the situation. This time it signifies power, independence, divisions between people, exploring, making heroic actions or even a sacrifice. Sounds even more drastic. 

Up the side of the Celtic Cross are four more cards...

7) - Five of Cups (Reversed) - this represents my attitude. A bit more positive than last time, this says that I'm understanding, have a fresh hope, appreciating what I do have and looking forward to something new and hopeful. I'm full of hope. Whether it ever happens or not is something else, but you gotta hope, right?

8) - Six of Pentacles - This represents my surroundings, my current environment. The card says it's all about sharing, people helping each other, and receiving help. I'm very open to that. If anyone feels like they can steer me in the right direction, please let me know.

9) - Nine of Wands (Reversed) - this is all about my hopes and dreams. Last one signified a change in direction, but that never came. This time it says my hopes and dreams, my inner thoughts, are all about confinement, confusion, and needing to take a fresh look at things. 

10) - Ace of Cups (Reversed) - and finally, the last card represents the overall outcome. This card says that emotions are strong, troubled, with a level of sadness, and that I need to work at it. Jeez, I guess I asked for that. But I can foresee without the need for the cards that things are going to require a lot of work over the next couple of months...

I put the cards away, and the interpretation guide book. and look at my notes. Did that help? I don't think so, but it's scarily accurate again. 

Until next post, which may be about the next in my video games series or building up to the 10th anniversary of #RPGaDAY...

Stay safe.